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Too high, too low, or juuust right? Libido, aka sex drive, varies from person to person and between partners. While stereotypes definitely exist think: teenagers with raging hormonessex drive is highly personal. And your desire for sex can fluctuate, depending on factors like your age, stress level, and relationship status. And if something is wrong, what can you do about it? Sex and relationship expert Emily Morse notes that some couples are simply out of sync when it comes to libido.
You might be putting on the moves every night, while your partner takes a hard pass.
And the idea that men think about sex constantly is a myth. And even women ponder sex 10 times daily. Fisher T, et al. Sex on the brain?
But if you feel it swinging up or down on the spectrum, here are some possible reasons for that. Does oral sex count, or does it Looking for hi sex drive to be full-on penetration? A revved-up sex drive becomes an issue only if it le to problems with your sex life and your life outside of sex. This is known as hypersexualitycompulsive sexual behavior, or sexual addiction. As with low libido, a of things can cause your sex drive to skyrocket into an unhealthy place. But there are serious mental disorders that can make sex your first priority.
According to Kerner, sex can be a form of self-medication for some people with anxiety. Low self-esteem, unresolved shame, and other deeply entrenched feelings can increase sex drive as well. Hypersexual behavior in a large online sample: Individual characteristics and s of coercive sexual behavior.
DOI: Certain drugs can send libido sky-high. Many are the same stimulants that jolt your brain, like cocaineecstasy, crystal meth, and caffeine. Drugs called substituted cathinones give users a boost in energy, feelings of connectedness, and a high sex drive. Increased libido is a side effect of one of these drugs, Wellbutrin, which doctors prescribe to help people kick the smoking habit.
Paillet-Loilier, et al. Emerging drugs of abuse: Current perspectives on substituted cathinones. Keep in mind that different factors may affect different people you guessed it… differently. The pain, stress, and sheer exhaustion of living with cancer, arthritis, diabetes, or another chronic illness can really sap your desire for sex. Your mental state also has a big effect on your sex drive. In fact, a lost libido can be one of the first warning s of depression. The antidepressants you might take to boost your mood may not do your sex life any favors, either.
Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors SSRIs like fluoxetine Prozac and sertraline Zoloft and serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors SNRIs like duloxetine Cymbalta prevent your brain from absorbing serotonin, a chemical that affects desire.
These antidepressants can not only put a damper on your libido but also make it harder to reach orgasm when you finally do get in the mood. Montejo AL, et al. Sexual side-effects of antidepressant and antipsychotic drugs. If you suspect this is the case for you, a medication like bupropion Wellbutrin might be better for relieving depression without diminishing your sex drive. Also, in an ironic twist, the very same method you use to avoid a pregnancy could prevent you from getting into a situation where it might happen.
In fact, 1 in 5 birth control pill users lose interest in sex, and about half go off the pill as a result. Boozalis A, et al. Sexual desire and hormonal contraception. To stay protected without losing your sex drive, a change in method might be in order. Research suggests that copper IUDs lead to less libido loss than injectables, implants, and rings.
We blame hormones for everything from chocolate cravings to mood swings. When it comes to sexual desire — or a lack of it — hormones like estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone do carry some of the blame. Those of us who are all over our partners just before our monthly period arrives can thank estrogen spikes for our erotic zeal. Plunging levels of this hormone are also why interest in sex fades during menopause.
When it comes to desire, T is key. Low testosterone can really make your libido suffer. For some folks who are especially low, this hormone could help rev up their sex life again. Corona G, et al. If you and your partner have retreated to separate sides of the bed, an assessment of your relationship is in order.
Pretty much anything that negatively affects a couple has the potential to limit lust. Poor communication, anger, hurt feelings, and even boredom are common culprits. Recovering from infidelity may cause low libido for some. Being overworked, short on time, exhausted, or all of the above tends to bump sex down on the list of priorities. Hello, adulting. New parents may be especially susceptible to sexual issues. Schlagintweit H, et al. A new baby in the bedroom: Frequency and severity of postpartum sexual concerns and their associations with relationship satisfaction in new parent couples.
Whether you need a libido adjustment, and what to fix, depends on whether yours is too low or too high and how much it bothers you and your partner. Are the two of you completely out of sync, or do things match up pretty well? If you and your partner feel A-OK about how much sex you want, chances are your libido is just fine. Just keep calm and get it on. Pencil sex and intimacy into your schedule, right up there with work meetings and dinners out with friends. Speaking of food, you might find a few natural aphrodisiacs right in your kitchen.
Bananas, avocados, and chocolate can help put you in the mood banana-avocado-hot fudge sundaes, anyone? To spice up your sex life, sprinkle a little basil or garlic on your precoital meal. Get creative in the bedroom too. Missionary position is fine but can be humdrum. One erogenous zone you could be overlooking is your mouth and not for the reasons you might think. Talk to your partner.
Tell them what makes you feel good, and ask what gives them pleasure. Exercise can make you feel friskier in addition to relieving stress and making your jeans fit better. And getting enough sleep will give you the energy you need to be a lover, not a snorer.
Sometimes a lost libido needs medical intervention. Prescription Looking for hi sex drive like bremalanotide Vyleesi can turn up the fire on low desire, but they do come with some big downsides. This treatment requires you to give yourself a shot before sex — not the best aphrodisiac. Other medications on the market may take several months to start working or have serious side effects, like fainting or drops in blood pressure. Speak with your doctor about which drug, if any, makes sense for you. Hormone therapy is another possible fix. Estrogen in pill, cream, or ring form can relieve vaginal dryness that makes sex painful.
Testosterone supplements can help resurrect a dwindling sex drive. The problem might have a pretty straightforward medical fix.
If a past trauma or a deep-seated relationship issue is taking a toll on your libido, fixing the underlying problem is the way to go. You might be able to resolve some relationship stuff on your own. But a psychiatrist or sex therapist can address the thornier causes of low or high libido and help you and your partner better communicate with each other. These Looking for hi sex drive are also your go-to resources for addressing sexual compulsions or other sexual behaviors that cause you or your loved ones emotional distress.
You may also want to spice things up or down with lifestyle adjustments like adequate exercise, aphrodisiac foods, and stress management techniques. Several factors affect how long sex lasts. Here are some ways to help prolong sex or bust it out in minutes. Having sexual fantasies is a normal part of life but it can also be hard to talk about. We interviewed sex experts for advice on broaching the…. Porn can be a healthy part of your sex life, but we uncovered some findings that may turn you off faster than a cold shower.
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Looking for the best porn sites to help you reach the finish line? Check out our picks for the best ethical porn sites to try solo or with a partner. Remote-controlled sex toys have risen in popularity. We take a look at what they provide for solo and partnered play and break down 10 of our faves. Medically reviewed by Janet Brito, Ph.Looking for hi sex drive
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